There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
