id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
