Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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