there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
