he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
