So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
