I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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