Say something about gay babies.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
