ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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