You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
