Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
