how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
