I just made out with a guy for $7.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
did i walk over a car last night?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
