i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
