Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
