after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
