What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
