didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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