you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
