Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
