If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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