you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
