what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i think i have two assholes
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
