i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
