Just fell off a train. Bad.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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