Dual....:-)
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
