were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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