Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
