I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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