So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
try to milk me bitch
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
