I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
