I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
