Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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