i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
