id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
my being single is dangerous.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Pińatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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