he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
