just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
