can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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