JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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