My room smells like vodka and shame
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
