Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
