so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
