You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
