If you die in college, do you die in real life?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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