You're so nebulous sometimes
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
