I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
