Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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