question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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