Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
