Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
