i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My bed smells like the plague
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
